OR
"When you don't clean your room, I feel angry because I try hard to keep this house clean"
"I" MESSAGES put the focus on how "I" feel; not on what "YOU" did.
One of the most important tools in dealing with conflicts is to improve the way in which we communicate with one another. To become a better communicator, you must become a better listener. All too often, when a conflict occurs, it becomes a race to see who can get their points out first. By stopping and listening to what the other person has to say, without interrupting them, not only can you clarify the other person's thoughts and feelings, but you will also have an opportunity to say what you think and feel.
Unfortunately, this is where some people run into problems. When expressing your thoughts,fears and anger, you must think about how you are expressing those thoughts, fears and anger. For example, if you are experiencing anger because your child refuses to clean their messy bedroom, which method of expression do you think will cause the least amount of anger?
"I" MESSAGES put the focus on how "I" feel; not on what "YOU" did.